My heart is very overwhelmed. Its funny how people stumble into each others’ live and before you know it, you get rolled into each others’ issues and you trip and fall over more intertwined issues because he is his friend and she is his friend and this is his cousin, while that is his brother who in turn is her relative. ya I know, its like DNA threads- very messy, very tangled.
Today I asked: What is the purpose of putting us and grouping us and naming us as a family, under a family name LORD? WHAT LORD WHAT?
Why spring us out like a beyblade and watch us spin out of control, losing all our momentum in this arena? WHY? You grouped people in the past in tribes and some are proud of their tribes like the very prestigious benjamites and some just roll in mud when they pronounce which tribe they are from.Are our families our tribes? Is it because you wanted us to remember our heritage, our roots and give us this sense of belonging and identity? But God, didn’t you say our identity and our roots should be in you? Then why?
Because we were never meant to go solo to begin with. Because hopefully a struggling being, seeing another struggling being may bring about comfort and encouragement and the strength to go on. Because God never meant for us to give up on one another. Because self-realization is never a possible with your solo self. It starts when the disparities to others, the reactions, the feedbacks and the response you get from others that you truly start to question the differences between you and them.
Yes they say our family make us who we really are. Isn’t it the same with the people around us and the problems posed by life to this physical body? As Chuck Palahniuk puts it, Nothing of me is original. I am the combined effort of everybody I’ve ever known. You believe what you want to, the invisible monsters stopping you.
I do not know what is the significance of having a family. But I do know that it is the environment God put you in to nurture you while you were still weaning and unable. While you argue that it is not necessary that everyone will have one while they are still unable - you know, cases of giveaway babies and orphaned children- but I know to these children, God gives them takes a more personal care of them. And what you take out of, you give it back- in tangible or intangible terms.
I do not know a lot. But I do know if one day you behave like strangers to your family members, then it defeats the purpose that God put together in this unit. Then it defeats the privilege that ‘we do not need to start out as strangers’. And I know that if you screw up this current family, what makes you think you can start yours and not screw it up since we are all combined effort of everybody we’ve ever known.
My heart is very overwhelmed.
禱告，已假裝不了